True Beauty

The beauty of a man transformed.

Transforming....daily.

A gift....difficult to open.

Mine.

So undeserving...

And I can't believe how

much He loves me.

Glenn too.

Love Beyond.

As I watched and waited alongside a dear friend as she struggled to fight a battle bigger than herself, I am thankful to God for the strength He had given her to push through and do the only thing a mother can do;

Love beyond all that you ever thought you could.

These are her words, penned to give perspective during a difficult transitory time.
Her poetry became her prayer, and may God continue to listen.

Listen;

The devil surprised me when he came to my house
I had never seen him before
I didn't even recognize who he was
As he casually strolled through my door

I felt overwhelmed by such a darkness
As he carefully settled in
I prayed that he would leave
He just stared with a sickly grin

His eyes roamed around the room
He said, it is my son he is here to see
I struggled to push him out the door
But he was so much stronger than me

I watched as he walked up the stairs
And moved right on in
I had lost all control
The devil was here to win

He masked himself so cleverly
To take away all my son's sorrow
Then leaned in close to his ear
And whispered "I'll be back tomorrow"

With all the love that I have
With every bit of my soul
I kept fighting and fighting and trying
As I watched him reach his goal

I witnessed the transformation
Trying to reason through my tears
My words were simply not enough
The devil had given him deaf ears

What a powerful darkness
Able to win over my son
He created a liar an addict a stranger
Then smiled, his job here was done

He just walked right out of my house
He played his twisted game
There is now someone else to visit
He is anxious to start again

I'm left with a hallow emptiness
As I look into my son's eyes
I see his silent torture
His life had become a string of lies

I gathered every bit of strength I had
And sent my love away
To get him the help he needed
While I waited helplessly every day

They have armed my boy with tools
And sent him back to me
Going forward the decisions are his
Choosing the life he wants it to be

I have such an underlying fear
But I have faith my son can win
If the devil should ever knock at the door
Please my love, find the strength to never let him in.

Special Delivery.

They weren't the tears of a child trying to manipulate a toy into their possession, there was no jumping up and down in disobedience or screaming of life's unfairness. There were just swollen droplets of heart driven love falling onto her cheeks that made my own heart break in two very different ways. One, for the pain she was feeling as she knew she had to give the "Walmart" baby back to the lady, and secondly, out of the gratitude I had to God for giving her a heart that loves so deeply.
As we walked back to the truck, with groceries in tow, I leaned into my beauty and told her how precious she was for loving that little baby so, and that one day she's going to be a wonderful Mommy.


The tears still fell.
And then God walked in.






Uggh, I had left something at Walmart...
I had to go back.....

I knew, at the store initially, I couldn't give into Maysie's tears of desire and buy the baby, no matter how much I wanted too. But, I could go back and retrieve her from the lady who "informed" me that the baby had cried all day without Maysie. So I did just that, and as I returned home from my mission, I listened to Maysie tell Glenn (in one long run on sentence) the story of her baby, and how she "loved her and missed her and I was so happy... but she was a "Walmart" baby and had to stay with the lady" .....tear.









And then God delivered.

The Wind.

The sun is casting different shadows on our property and I know that sleep is coming. It's a slumber that I so look forward to, as the bustle of summer begins to rest under the blanket of much needed routine.
The beauty of fall takes on so many changing characteristics, and the one that clings to my heart the deepest is the one I watch walk out my front door .
As Calvin, with backpack in place, breaks free of my hugs and kisses, I admire as he eagerly pulls at Glenn's hand to drive him to Grade One. He is so ready and i am so.....not. I'm not ready to give him over to full time everyday early mornings no lounging in our jammies until noon kinda days. I'm not ready to watch him spend more time away from me than with me. He's mine...I had him first, I think to myself as I bite back my tears of fear and loss. And then, like a leaf falling from high, floating on the wind, You whisper ever so softly and I am given over to my only option at that point.....the promise of prayer.

"God go before my treasure that is ultimately yours. Protect him and keep him close to your gentle guiding hand. Cultivate the beginnings of Godly, influential friendships and mentors. Show him that his uniqueness is a gift of love only from you as you continue to instill in him his strong desire to work hard and do well.

Speak softly to his tender heart Lord....I know he is listening."

A Genuine Priority.

I wasn't exactly sure how you were going to react to this whole "soccer thing." I had pictures of the first few tearful days of Kindergarten class rolling through my memory, that I actually suggested to Glenn that we should buy cheap soccer cleats...just in case.

Well, I couldn't have been more surprised at how much you loved being out there on that wet field, kicking the ball around surrounded by a frenzied pack of 4 footers hoping to get a good kick in as well .

A heart smiling moment for a new "Soccer Mom."
It was a beautiful thing, watching from the sidelines, you cheering on your teammates even when they scored on the wrong net. To witness the sense of accomplishment flash across your face as you kicked the ball into the net, was a joy. The high fives post game, you running up to a classmate asking her if she had fun, and you falling asleep with your shinpads on your pillow etched their way into my memory bank.

I pray Calvin, that you never lose this sense of genuine play, and no matter how important a game may become in your life, having fun and encouraging others should always take priority over the win.

"He Knew I Needed Her."

The way she says good morning.

Her ability to make you laugh...really laugh.

Her willingness to say I'm sorry.

The way she carries her facecloth on her head.

The way her eyelashes curl.

The fact that she has spoken more words in 2 years than Calvin has his entire life.

The freckle on her thumb.

Her music note.

Both kisses from God.

Her ability to make you see the pretty.

The way she asks if you are okay.

The bounce in her step.

The way she says excuse me after she burps.

The way she sings her made up songs.

The way she finds Calvin's shoes at school and gets them ready for his feet at home time.

Her ability to walk by in her underwear and make you smile.

The way she throws rocks in the stream.

Her ability to stand firm in what she feels is right.

Her ability to understand when you explain "no sweetie, not now."

The way she asks for a cuddle just because she wants one.

The way she gives kisses and huggies before she goes to bed.

Her ability to bring me to tears just because she is.

He knew I needed her.

Lucky Girl.

"Meem, do you know where Hobbes is?" This is something I hear often as Calvin is getting ready for bed, and I have to admit, as soon as I hear the words, I get a bit anxious inside..."oh no, what if we can't find him?" But we always do, Hobbes is never that far away. Glenn laughs at me and says that I love Hobbes more than Calvin does, but it's not possible. Our little boy has twiddled the face right off of that Tiger, and if that's not love, I don't know what is. It's the kind of love that carves deep; deep within the soul of a little boy still learning what love is all about and amazingly, despite all he has been through, Hobbes continues to mentor Calvin in the ways of this God driven unconditional connectedness.

This brave Tiger has been peed on, barfed on, lost, found, sewn, disemboweled, stuffed in a sock and thrown into the washer more times then his little body can handle, and yet he still survives. He has become a part of our family, we talk about him as if he was real....I mean really real...odd, I know, but it just sort of happened and I wont make any apologies for the relationship.

The special bond that has weaved its way into the heart of my boy is like no other. Hobbes represents security, warmth, best friendship, and comfort. He is who Calvin asks for when he is sad, tired or hurt. Hobbes has become a part of who Calvin is, and it is beautiful. If you ask Calvin what he will do with Hobbes when he gets married, the answer is a certain, "Hobbes will sleep in the middle."

What a lucky girl......

Precious.

Standing In Awe.

There is so much history behind this beautiful, yet half naked magnolia tree that stands majestically in our backyard. (although, now that I think about it, can a half naked anything stand majestically???) Anyhow, now towering at over 1o feet tall and about 8 feet in diameter, this piece of heaven was a mere knee high to a grasshopper just 5 years ago.

Every spring, I wait with great

anticipation for my blooms to open, as I take daily walks through the muddy terrain of our winter drenched yard in hopes to see the peaking of pink petals.

And then, one day....magic happens. As if they can't contain themselves any longer, these beautiful fragrant reminders of God's creativity burst through their cocooned seams and scream forth a new season of renewal and rebirth, and I stand in awe.

Waiting For Joy.

Before we even arrived at the Great Wolf Lodge, we knew that Calvin would have the time of his life. Mayson, on the other hand, we weren't quite sure. As we entered into the water park area, immediately she was an unhappy little girl. The noise!!! It didn't even dawn on me that it would be really loud in there. Maysie, with fingers in her ears, pleaded to go home. My initial thought was, "not going to happen honey, at 500 dollars a night.....sorry."

So, off the boys went to brave the wave pool while I waited for Maysie to adjust to her surroundings. After a half hour, and slowly unwrapping the towel from around her ears, Maysie made her way bravely to pool side. What a joy it was for me to watch her, without a care in the world, enjoying the sprinklers and posing her happiness for the camera.

Isn't that the way it is with life? Sometimes, we find ourselves in situations where we just want to put our fingers in our ears as we plead to go home. But then, through the grace of God, we wait out the uncomfortable and we adjust to our surroundings, ultimately finding joy in the moment.

Future Focused

"Mommy wook....it's your favorite, the Wed Bellied!!" (read Red Bellied). If you are going to live in this house, you're going to have to show some interest in birding. The MacLaren's are official losers....and are we ever proud. Watching my little girl view her world through upside down binoculars, makes me think she is clearly on her way!

What a joy to be able to wake up every morning to the sound of a chorus of bird songs. Daily, we are blessed with visitations from Chickadees, Downy Woodpeckers, Yellow Bellied Sap Suckers and Red Breasted Nuthatches to name a few.

Maysie's gravitation to watching the "birdies" really goes to show the influence we have on our children. They embrace the goodness we treasure, and sadly that which we shouldn't. It challenges me to continue to strive to parent future focused. Remembering always that we are cultivating habits in our children that they will take with them into their adult lives.

"Train a child in the way she should go, and when she is old she will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

The Master Carpenter.

We are having work done on the exterior of our house and no one could be happier than my Mr. Pants. He wakes early just so he can eat his breakfast and then run outside to meet Henry and Rob (apparently the 2 coolest workers ever). I asked Calvin the other evening, "why are you laying your clothes out?" Something not many 6 year old boys do without being prompted again and again... and again. "Meem," he replied, "they're my work clothes!" A smile stretched across my face and I immediately thanked God for my little man's strong work ethic already etched in his young impressionable mind.

There have been many times when I thought that living here had stretched us beyond what we ever though a house could actually do.... (there have been a few mishaps to say the least). But, when I look into the eyes of my baby and see such a desire to work, initiated by the dedication of an amazing father willing to show his boy the ropes, the house could fall over and I would still be thankful that God brought us to this little piece of paradise.



As I sit and type this, Calvin is, with tool belt in place, outside hanging out with "the guys," waiting for his next chore. May it be picking up nails or scraps of wood or hammering things that really don't need hammering, to him, this is very important work, and little does my little man know, it really is very important work. His foundation is being poured and moulded by The Master Carpenter for the strong desire to work hard and to work honest.

How cool is that???

On My Daddy's Shoulders.

This picture of Glenn and Mayson holding hands stirs my heart. There is something magical about holding your Daddy's hand. The strength, the comfort, the warmth, the security; knowing deep down inside that your Daddy will always lead you in the right direction.

There is something breathtaking about holding your child's hand. The innocence, the comfort, the warmth, the responsibility; knowing deep down inside that you always want to lead your child in the right direction.

I love the way God holds our hand, even when we seem to have let go, He still hangs on. He is the way....

Do you remember being thrown up on the shoulders of your Daddy?? How scary, how vulnerable, how exhilarating, yet how beautiful your vantage point.
Even more so, I love the way God throws us up on His shoulders at times and gives us a clear view of all that is around us. Sometimes that view isn't always picturesque, but knowing, once your feet hit the ground and your hand holds tight to His, you'll at least be facing forward.